CM Punk “Punks” the WWE

Last night, the same night where I was dreading Monday Night Raw because they were advertising another stupid gimmick themed Raw that was more than likely not gonna work, I was privileged to witness what was by far one of the greatest promos that I’ve seen come out of Raw in almost a decade.  The best part about it was that it wasn’t done by John Cena, Randy Orton, The Undertaker, The Rock or even Triple H. It was done by one man named CM Punk.

My problem with Punk as of late has been that the last time I was excited about the guy was when he first debuted and had a good run as a face for a while.  I liked that his style was unique as was his gimmick and skills on the microphone. Then they had him turn heel in a feud with Jeff Hardy that never made any sense, formed the Straight Edge Society which never took off and took control of the Nexus which only made that stable less impressive and spiraling down faster. I thought that whatever there was that could’ve brought Punk to the top in the WWE, Vinny Mac and company pretty much doused the fire and crushed the damn thing.  After last night, I was wrong.

Scripted or otherwise, who knows but all I know is that Punk just unloaded on EVERYBODY and I loved every single bit of it.  What he said was what a lot of people are thinking, myself included. Because the truth is that yes, Vince is surrounded by a bunch of “yes men” who are telling him what he wants to hear and not what he needs to hear because if Vince heard what he needed to hear, he’d know that his product currently SUCKS!!!!  It’s predictable, bland, same stories, same feuds, and is all in all mindless repetitive crap.  And yet, the senile, delusional old buzzard that he is think that there’s nothing wrong with the product and that it’s the audience that’s wrong.  In any job requiring customer service, the first rule we’re told is that the customer is never wrong.  Guess what, Vince? We’re not just the audience, we’re the customers so please review that first rule.

Back to what Punk said on the microphone, there was nobody safe in that shoot that he did.  Punk attacked everybody from Cena to Hogan to Rock to HHH & Stephanie to Vince. Hell, he even dropped a bomb by mentioning John Laurinaitis and taking a shot at him.   There were a lot of parts to what Punk said in that promo that I loved. One of them was where he referred to himself as a wrestler. Not an entertainer, but a wrestler. You know, that dirty that Vince hates because he doesn’t want his product to be a “Wrestling” company anymore and is too stupid to realize what a crock full of shit that is. This was one of my favorite parts of what Punk said in that shoot:

I am the best wrestler in the world.  I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I’m splitting.

He even dug deep enough to reference Paul Heyman AND Brock Lesnar? Hell the way I look at it, the style and the fire Punk brought to this promo almost reeked of Paul Heyman.  This was like a shoot you’d have seen back then in the “REAL” ECW that would’ve been done by Heyman himself. Hell it even reminded me a little bit of an old promo of Taz during his last 2 years in ECW.  And I was loving when he not only dropped a Ring of Honor reference, but even waved to the camera saying “Hey, Colt Cabana. How you doing?”   So not only is Punk ripping on everybody in the company, but he gives a free plug to Ring of Honor and Colt Cabana.  How awesome is this?

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, it does when Punk drops another bomb and what had to be the best part of the promo:

The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, non-sensical, douchebag (censored)  yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.

What do I call what he was saying with this? The truth.  The days where Vince drops dead, is the company really gonna be any better? Shane McMahon probably thought that it was gonna be all his until he realized that Daddy Dearest was never gonna step down and let him have it.  If that’s the case, no wonder Shane split. And while yes there is Triple H and Stephanie still around, but will things really be much better?  Nobody has the nerve to tell Vince what he needs to hear and that is that the WWE is ALWAYS gonna be a wrestling company.  They know it, the fans know it and even Punk knows it.

Punk was right that even when he leaves, the WWE wheel is gonna keep turning whether we like it or not. Vince probably could’ve easily ended up a billionaire if he maintained the course with the product instead of holding back. He took a step back and went the WCW approach in making it “Family freindly, for children of all ages” as opposed to just sticking with what was working and what helped WWE win the Monday Night Wars in the first place.

The funniest thing in all of this is that the only reason that the WWE isn’t trying harder to keep CM Punk is because they want the name.  For what? So you can rob of that just like you did to Spike, Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley? Yeah that’s right I said it. Not Team 3-D, Not Brothers Ray, Devon and Runt, but the Dudley Boyz. Punk’s name is valuable to himself but not to the WWE. They only want it because it’s his and means something to him.  And they’re letting a guy who can deliver like he did last night just leave because they wanted his name and he didn’t give it up. Well, at least we know who the smart one is and it’s not the WWE.   If Punk leaves, I’m praying that he goes back to ROH because as much as WWE sucks at using Punk properly,  TNA will be even worse.

Bottom line, Punk made a fan out of me more than before and I respect the hell out of him for going out on his terms, keeping what’s rightfully his AND speaking what we’re all thinking and what needed to be heard.


1 Comment

  1. CM Punk is a god amongst men, enough said.

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