WWE Raw: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

We’re two weeks into the new year and WWE has done a lot of things within those two weeks.  Unfortunately for the rest of us, not one of those things was “impress the crowd.” The opener was pretty solid having the whole Kane vs John Cena storyline continue. True that Kane just has never been able to deliver a promo and it’s not getting much better. But can’t really complain since it had Cena come out and you had him and Kane brawl all the way to the loading docks of the arena.  So far, not a bad start for the show UNTIL they had the tag match.  One team was Sheamus & Santino Marella and the other was Wade Barrett & Jinder Mahal.  Seriously, you’re telling me you couldn’t come up with anything better for Barrett and Sheamus than having them team up with two guys nobody gives a damn about.  Maybe the WWE is planning something in trying to build up Mahal, but nowhere should having Sheamus beat him in 30 seconds or getting pinned by Santino (don’t know which is worse) be a solution to building up a guy.  Barrett looked pissed for losing but was probably more pissed about “How did I go from Randy Orton to being in a tag match with this guy?”  I’m seriously over the whole “Cobra” thing and I’m still sore about the fact that Drew McIntyre had to put Santino over on Smackdown.

Daniel Bryan beat Kofi Kingston which led to setting up Big Show vs Daniel Bryan 2 in a No DQ match on Smackdown.  You also had the Brodus Clay debut and frankly, I wish he stayed off of TV if this was what he was going to come out and do.  You remember The Godfather and Flash Funk? It looked like Rikishi went and ate the both of them and THIS is what we got. We also got a surprise with Brodus’ match as we learned that Curt Hawkins for better or worse is still employed by the WWE and left many people wondering “Who the hell is Curt Hawkins?” Also I have to say this about Brodus Clay and that is what is up with his finisher?  Seriously, a crossbody block? You’re 6’9 and a heavy guy and the best you can come up with for a finisher is a crossbody block? I don’t know which is less creative these days between the finishing moves in WWE these days or the writing amongst the WWE Creative team.

Here’s a segment that might as well be WWE’s attempt at a gameshow. It’s called “Will Chris Jericho speak?”  The only difference was that the guy started breaking down crying but the result was the same as he didn’t speak.  Look, I get what they’re doing and I get that they’re building up to some kind of turn for Chris Jericho.  The only problem is that just because it’s different doesn’t mean that it’s good. Yes, you’re building up for something with Jericho, WWE. However, what the WWE has forgotten is the fact that they had weeks of building him up. That is what the 1/2/12 segments were for in the first place. WWE has had more than enough time to load up the gun and now it’s time to take aim and shoot already. Yeah, we all get why WWE is doing it, but the guy has to speak at some point and if it goes on longer than it already has, you’re in danger of making the whole thing seem stale.

Lastly I should point out something before I go on about Kane vs Cena. I was all for Zack Ryder getting the U.S. Title, but I had never watched one episode of his podcast show and I respected that the guy wasn’t getting a break from the WWE and decided to make his own break.  Because of that, I had said to give the guy the U.S. Title and see what he could do with it.  Unfortunately, he hasn’t done much of anything with it.  Part of being the champion even in the mid-card is having challengers for it. Being a champion means you have other guys gunning for you to take the belt from  you.  Nobody seems to be doing that with Ryder and nowhere should that allow him to be mixed in a main-eventer storyline that is primarily focused on John Cena. It’s bad enough  that we had to endure watching Ryder trying to change a tire to the point where you half expected some narrator to say “Has this ever happened to you?” And as far as Eve’s involvement in last night’s angle, I’m sure anyone that complains about the diva matches will look at that whole angle and say that it makes even the worst diva matches look like Lesnar vs Angle by comparison.

Back to Cena vs Kane, is it me or does VKM seem to have some kind of hard-on for having Kane always putting his gloved hand over Cena’s mouth like he trying to put an ether rag over it?  Seriously, it’s like they forgotten how to have Kane be a destructive monster.  Just have him do what he does best and that’s kick the crap out of people.  His signature used to be a chokeslam and not trying to cover a person’s face with his gloved hand.  Just because Andre the Giant was able to pull off putting his hand over a person’s face doesn’t mean that Kane should be attempting to do  the same thing. I like that Kane is somewhat trying to be the Big Red Monster again, but the problem is that he still can’t cut a promo.  He’s trying to create some kind of cryptic, Raven-esque promo with the whole “Embrace Hate” thing, but it’s just not working.

To top that off, ratings for Raw fell below 3.0 yet again with hour 1 not even being able to break that mark and hour 2 falling yet again. Given that this was going against the BCS but this was reportedly down 15% from last year. Those circumstances aside, I would say that this was a mediocre Raw, but even that would be being generous.  I watched this stuff from the results on WWE’s website and I still felt the same frustration as if I were watching it on TV.  If this is what we can expect from WWE programming from here until Wrestlemania, than it is going to be a long couple of months.  I was happy to hear about Edge being inducted into the Hall of Fame along with the Four Horsemen, but even that wasn’t enough to save this train wreck.

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