Brodus Clay: Words Fail Me

I’ve had a whole week to let it soak in about Brodus Clay’s re-debut and his new gimmick of “The Funkasaurus.”  Though my strong feelings of it when it first came out was strong, it’s tapered off since then.  When I first saw it, all I could think was “What the Funk was That?!!!!”  This is a guy who claimed on NXT that he could the suplex somebody ten ways from Sunday and was coming off like a Taz-wannabe.  Given, he was a much bigger and heavier version of him and had the potential to be another big wrecking machine in the WWE.  However, after looking at it carefully and looking at both appearances on Raw and on Smackdown, I get the reasons for why the WWE went this route.

Yes, he’s a big guy and yes he can easily be a powerhouse wrecking machine. But there is one problem with that and that is that the WWE already has plenty of those at their disposal.  Don’t believe me? Look at the Big Show who for lack of all intensive purposes is  that and has made a career out of being that, face or heel.  He’s a dominant presence no matter what side of the coin he’s on. Then you have Mark Henry who has been a one man wrecking crew for the majority of the year and it has worked out for him because it ended up being the biggest break that he’s ever gotten during his tenure in the WWE.  You also have Kane who back with the mask is trying to rekindle the old days of being the dominant force that destroyed everybody in his path.  You also have, when they aim for it with him, Ezekiel Jackson who has more than enough ability to be dominant.  If they went the same route with Brodus Clay, he would without question get lost in the mix and eventually be let go.  It’s for those reasons that I get why the WWE went this route.  But just because I get it, doesn’t mean I like it or that I think it’s a good thing.

The last time we’ve seen a big guy dance and had it work was Rikishi where he mostly did it with Too Cool.  Times were different from as it was the Attitude Era and it was funny and the crowd reacted to it.  They tried to do the same thing for a short time with Albert/A-Train and that didn’t last long at all because watching him try to dance was like trying to watch him wrestle and/or stare at his hairy back: It was painful. Now I’m not going to be negative about Brodus entirely.  He did show me something that can be attributed as a positive.  He showed some charisma that is rarely in guys of his mass and his height.  He gave the impression that he was really enjoying himself out there with doing this gimmick.  And though I’m not a dance judge nor do I play one on TV, he showed some mobility in all the dancing that I thought again was impressive for a guy of his size.  Yes, I said that he looked like Rikishi ate Flash Funk, but I give credit to the guy for trying to make it his own.  And the difference between the two is that Flash Funk aka 2 Cold Scorpio had to focus on the gimmick over where his talents were, namely his in-ring ability that the WWE wouldn’t let him tap into as they’ve done with many names.

There are a lot of guys saying that his gimmick is a joke and that whatever momentum Brodus had, is ruined or that nobody is gonna take this guy seriously or the big one in that Vince clearly has no faith whatsoever in this guy.  Why not?  Vince has a hard-on for the bigger guys and always.  He’s always favored that, believing that bigger is better.  It’s why he favors guys like Big Show, Kane or Mark Henry over guys like Evan Bourne or Rey Mysterio and basically why the cruiserweight guys never got a fair shake in the WWE. Just ask Ultimo Dragon about that one.  I’ve thought it over on whether I think this gimmick screams “Abandon Ship” or that this is Brodus’ official death sentence in the WWE.  And after thinking all of that over, my answer is simply that I don’t have the slightest clue.  Do I think that he can hold a world title? No but he just debuted and stranger things have happened.  With some touch-ups, there could be some hope with this and by touch-ups, I’m talking about give the guy a new finisher than a Cross-Body Block. Seriously, I get that you don’t want the guy to be just like Mark Henry, Kane, Big Show or Big Zeke, but you can give the guy a better finisher than this.  Like it wasn’t bad enough that Big Zeke and Vladimir Koslov had to have the same exact finishers.  Anything would be better than a move that nobody considers to be impactful or a legitimate finisher.  That’s my gripe with Wade Barrett’s “Wasteland” move is that it’s a just a reverse standing Samoan Drop.

This to me is not like the mute Chris Jericho. We’ve only bared witness to this gimmick for a week.  Maybe guys like Justin LaBar are right in saying to give this time. Given there seem to be more heels on Raw than faces so, lets just see what happens.  After all, we’ve seen stupider gimmicks and angles to come out of the WWE.  Compared to those, this one is actually pretty normal by comparison. So, whether we like it or not, the Funkasaurus has landed and all we can do is wait and see if this ends up being a crash landing.


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