I Got Four Words For Ya: People Power is DEAD!!!!!!

Yes, the very thing that we’ve been begging to have happened finally happened.  No Way Out, John Cena did the WWE Fans a favor by not only beating the Big Show, but also by getting Mr Lack of Personality and the WWE’s Biggest Kidney Stone in John Laryngitis FIRED!!!!!  That lead to tonight’s Raw and I was a little excited but also a little skeptic about watching tonight because I was scared that the WWE was going to find some way to screw over the fans again.  I thought they were going to pull off something where Johnny Boy would have his job still or something with power still in his grasp.  Miraculously, not only did that not happen but everybody that he thought was his allies turned against him tonight.  However, as great as Raw was tonight in my opinion, there were still some flaws to it.  One of them regards to who is in charge of both shows now that Johnny Boredom is no longer in power.

Mick Foley came out tonight and said that every week, there would be a different person for the GM role and this is the part that bothers me.  Given, this is not getting some random celebrity to do it like what was done in the past. But still, this came off to me like it just a half-assed version of what the whole guest General Manager role used to be. You know, some would be good and some would be crap.  Then it turned into just a guest host for Raw and that ended up with a majority of guest hosts that just sucked.  I’m begging you guys to not have me go into The Three Stooges and how horrible that turned out.  One of the actors in Sean Hayes said he was embarrassed being on Raw that night, funny cause we were embarrassed to have him and the other two on Raw that night. But nevertheless, this is just a recycled version of an angle that got old quicker than Vince’s million dollar giveaway on Raw (aka Vince McMahon pays you to watch Raw).

One other problem I had with Raw last night was Alberto Del Rio.  Now last I checked, the guy had a concussion and that was the only reason that he wasn’t able to compete at No Way Out the other night against Sheamus.  So, if Del Rio had a concussion and couldn’t compete against Sheamus last night, how is he able to go out there and wrestle on Raw the night after the PPV where he couldn’t compete because of the concussion?  Top that off with the fact that going from fighting Sheamus for the World Title to fighting Santino Marella for nothing other than tossing around his personal ring announcer, I call that a little bit of a step down.  Was there really a concussion or does the WWE really not have the slightest clue what the hell they are doing with this guy?

Back to the topic of the “authority figure” in the WWE, there is one thing I will give credit to the WWE about regarding the authority figure is that they didn’t go right to Teddy Long.  Maybe he’ll get it eventually and maybe he won’t, but at least they didn’t go with the obvious as opposed to the main event of No Way Out last night because we all knew that John Cena was not going to be the one to get fired.  They chose to fire the guy that many felt was killing the ratings for WWE because ever since the Toolbox took over, the ratings have just gone down.  The only reason that they went up last week was because people thought the ass-clown was gonna get fired. I loved how Big Show just left Not So Big Johnny out in the cold and there is some logic to it, considering that Big Show does still have an iron clad contract and he doesn’t really have to answer to anybody.  So leaving Johnny out in the cold made sense with regard to the fact that Big Show got what he wanted, and since John Laryngitis has no power anymore, there’s nothing else that Big Show needs from him.  The icing on the cake was how Otunga just left Johnny there after Johnny Boy revealed he wasn’t hurt.  It was probably one of the best things that I’ve seen Otunga do thus far since he came to the WWE.

This Raw tonight was a step-up for me and I felt the right call was made in the fact that they took a character off of TV that nobody liked.  John Laryngitis wasn’t even hated in a “good heel” kind of way. He was hated to the point where nobody wanted to see the guy at all because he was so boring that he made paint drying look like the Super Bowl.  There is a slight change with the authority figure even if the angle is just something recycled, but its at least a start and for right now, all we can hope is that this will actually lead to something heading into the 3 Hour Raw.

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John Laurinaitis: The Raspy That Needs to Be Silenced

A lot of you are probably surprised that I would be writing anything about this guy. Given the fact that I think that this douche bag along with Vickie Guerrero and Michael Cole are the three of the people that I feel are doing more harm than good in the WWE, what could I possibly have to say about this guy that I haven’t already? Oh believe me, there is plenty that I can say about this guy because the saddest truth about all this is that the WWE just doesn’t get it with any of those three, especially John Laryngitis.

So yes, his team won at Wrestlemania thanks to Eve “Man-Jaw” Torres screwing with Zack (Woo Woo Woo, You BLEW IT!!!) Ryder’s head.  So, now we have Mr Lack of Personality on both damn shows.  Great, I guess this is how they make Smackdown worse.  By adding an authority figure that nobody likes on either show. The guy has no personality and no entertaining or charismatic qualities whatsoever and yet EVERYBODY is acting he’s the perfect solution to make WWE cool again.  So all the while people are giving this dumbass all the credit in the world, I’m left here asking one simple question that nobody seems to have an answer for: What the hell did this asshole ever do to deserve a top spot like this on WWE TV?

That’s not even a rhetorical question. I’m wondering what has this guy done to deserve the spot that he has right now. I’m of course talking about outside of the things that he’s notorious for such as being just a suit.  I’m also talking about things other than him being just corporate sleaze, being a charismatic bomb in his wrestling career with success in absolutely nothing as an active wrestler and oh yeah, there’s also the fact that his entire legacy consists of being in his Road Warrior big brother’s shadow.  Okay, so after listing all of those things, the guy has really done nothing for his career except kiss enough ass until the cows come home. The only real signature move that this guy seems to have is bending over backwards or jumping through hoops.  For all we know, the only real nagging injury this guy has is spending so much time on his knees.

Some writers of the IWC think that because John Laryngitis is now in charge of both shows, that it’s like we’ve all won when the truth is we didn’t win when his team won at Mania, we lost.  We lost because with this assclown and we’re stuck with one other person that is as annoying as hell along with Michael Cole and Vickie Guerrero, or four people if you include Johnny’s little sidekick Carlton Banks or as I know him better David “Dead Weight” Otunga.  This brings about the question that I had already asked once before in why exactly “irritating and annoying” all of a sudden are considered to be pro wrestling gold these days.  Not saying that heels don’t generally do that, but they do it within a certain degree.  Why?  Because if you exceed that, you leave people pissed off to the point where they don’t want to watch.  I know this from experience for every time I’ve tried to watch Raw and got so irritated with having the mute the TV because of the Shrieking Shaved Ape that is Michael Cole burying the WWE product from start to finish.

The other problem with Johnny Boy is the fact that there is no character evolution with his on screen character.  Vince to an extent even had that and to a lesser degree, Bischoff had the potential for it, but never utilized it.   What I mean is that like most heels, there’s one spec that they have to where a face turn is actually possible.  John doesn’t have that because there’s not one likable trait that he has.  He’s boring, lacks energy and charisma, bad on the microphone, and has a voice that is so annoying that it makes Stephanie McMahon singing “Wind Beneath My Wings” sound like Sarah McLachlan.  Yeah I’m aware I just used a Sarah McLachlan reference, deal with it.

Bottom line is that I’m not just saying that John Lauranitis is a bad on-screen character. I’m saying he got a job that he doesn’t deserve to have and that most guys that work on-screen deserve more than a guy who did all his work backstage. Top that off with you’re giving an on-screen role to an asshole who has handed out more pink slips than Ric Flair has had to pay alimony checks.  And as far as people saying “he had success overseas when he was a wrestler” that’s because he couldn’t hack it here cause he was so horrible, he made jobbers look like Flair and Sting.  We’re stuck with the shrieking shaved ape that is Michael Cole at the announcer’s table, Vickie Guerrero with her only way of getting over is re-hashing the same line and tired gimmick she’s used the last couple years and John Laryngitis with his sidekick Carlton trying to be something that he’s not now nor will he ever be: Vince.  When will this nightmare come to an end?

Wrestlemania: What Match Starts the Show?

There has been a lot of talk about what is going to be t he opener for this year’s Wrestlemania. There have been many moments where we got a solid opener for a match.  Some examples that come to mind are Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania 21, a match that I was fortunate to witness live.  Then not that long ago we had a match between Cody Rhodes and Rey Mysterio that stole the show.  If there is one thing that can be said for Wrestlemania, it’s that the first impressions matter and that if you don’t have a solid opener, you leave people thinking that this is gonna be a long couple of hours.  Now does this mean that you should start the show with the heavy hitter? Not necessarily because if you do that, you raise the bar too high and in some cases you’ll have matches that will not be able to reach that level.  You also have an example of last year where you started with the World Heavyweight Title match between Edge and Alberto Del Rio.  The first impression that I remembered having when watching that was that “Great, nothing is gonna happen here.”  The reason I thought that was because if there was going to be anything major that would happen in that match, it would have been later on in the card.

That being said, there has been a lot of talk about what should start off this year’s Wrestlemania.  There have been many that have said that Chris Jericho vs CM Punk should be the one to start off the show.  Bad idea because if you do that, you run the same risk of what happened with Del Rio vs Edge last year.  Punk vs Jericho has all the potential to be the show stealer and they’ve done a pretty good job to this point of building up that match.  To leave it as a 10 to 15 minute long match that will be the kick-start of the show seems like too much of a waste. So once again, you start off with this match, and you run the risk of raising the bar so high that it can’t be reached. Nobody has brought up the Hell in a Cell match and to start the show with that one would be an even worse idea so I’m not going to go into that option.

Then you have Cody Rhodes vs Big Show.  For better or worse, they’ve been hyping up this match to some kind of degree.  I could see this being the starter if anything because of Big Show since it’s not the first time he started off Mania since we once got him losing the US Title to John Cena at the start of the show.  But the reason I’m not so sure if this is a good idea is for the fact that you had Cody Rhodes kick off the show last year and while we know he can do it, this is something that should be given to something else. You also have Randy Orton vs Kane but that seems to be a step down for Orton, but the one way that it serves is that there hasn’t been near the great amount of time used to build up the storyline for that one.  You also have regrettably Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus and I say that because people ought to care about this match, but they don’t.  Bryan’s establishing himself as a heel, but I keep worrying how much of it will distract from his abilities and as far as Sheamus goes, hard to really buy into him being pushed when all he’s gotten have been tackling dummies with occasional competitors like Dolph Ziggler. It’s like Sheamus got the push for the WHC and the Royal Rumble win simply because he was there.

Then you have the 12 man tag that will determine who runs both shows.  The only reason people care about this is for the slight possibility of not seeing John Laryngitis on TV anymore, something that I would very much welcome for the simple fact that it’s bad enough that I have to put up with Monkey Cole’s horrible announcing skills where he doesn’t sell anything except himself. I have said that my problem with Not So Big Johnny is that there really is no room for his character to branch out as a heel.  His character is a one level character much like Vickie Guerrero where you see one side of them and no that no matter who you put them against, this is all we’re ever going to see and that is not a good thing. Heel characters have to have a certain ability to adapted keep their character fresh in some way without getting stale or boring. But anyway, back to the match, you have Long’s team with R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder and The Great Khali while Johnny’s team has Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger and David “Dead Weight” Otunga.   Two spots remain, one for each team and the only intrigue is to see who actually makes it onto there, but it’d have to be something big and/or something that nobody expects for people to have the “you have my undivided attention” mentality which sadly, people don’t have for this match.  Some people are saying Alberto Del Rio and some are saying Rey Mysterio. I can see Del Rio on Johnny’s team but what I think could come out of this is that since The Miz is on a losing streak anyway, what if this match was him jumping on the bandwagon for Teddy’s team since he already couldn’t get a spot on Johnny’s team and ends up winning the match for Teddy Long.  It works in multiple ways because you have The Miz end his losing streak, gets his match at Mania, and you have him as a face which will leave the door open to numerous possibilities for the guy.   It’s one of the few ways that you can make this match matter or at least somewhat have a moment to kick off the show as a “Welcome to Wrestlemania” moment.

Bottom line, it comes down to Sheamus vs Bryan or the 12 man tag or Randy Orton vs Kane.  The reasons vary but any of those would be better suited as an opener.  The first two for the lack of care from the fans towards it, thus you have little expectations but plenty of room to show them up and surprise them.  Orton vs Kane is not so much for the lack of caring but for the minimal amount of build-up when compared to the rest of the card. This is supposed to be one of the biggest Wrestlemanias to happen in years, and the WWE should make everything count and that includes the opener.

Is WWE Finally Starting to Get It?

I have to give credit where credit is due for WWE. They managed to end Raw on a strong note in back to back weeks. Not only did they do that, but they hyped up a PPV as they did tonight with the way they ended Raw, in particular with the WWE Title match.  Following last week, you knew that with John Laurinaitis saying that he would in fact screw over CM Punk at the Royal Rumble that there would be consequences for it, in particular for Johnny Boy.  This was proven tonight when Mr Lack of Personality came out with Carlton Banks Jr in David Otunga who read a fax saying that Not So Big Johnny’s future as a GM was in question as next week Triple H will decide his fate which also leaves that the match that Laurinaitis is going to be the referee for in Punk vs Ziggler will be watched and that if he screws over Punk, he might as well start looking for a new job.  So it looked like Punk vs Laryngitis wasn’t gonna happen as Otunga jumped Punk but Punk easily took him down and gave us all what the fans have been begging for in having Punk hit John Laryngitis with the GTS.  If that’s not a payoff, it’s a hell of a sneak preview and it was short lived thanks to Dolph Ziggler attacking Punk and Raw closing with him standing tall. This isn’t a bad thing either because that was Dolph’s way of saying to Punk that John Laryngitis isn’t who you have to worry about, but I am.

So in doing this, the WWE has not only given fans something to look for at the Royal Rumble but a reason to tune in next week, namely to see if the Dynamic Dumbass John Laryngitis gets what he has coming to him and we’re finally through with him as some kind of authority figure.  Logically, there’s no way he keeps the GM job since Triple H didn’t like him when Hunter was running Raw and you could just see that Triple H was thinking that the guy screwed him over and sabotaged him to get him removed from Raw.  And if there’s one thing Triple H is known for, it’s payback and when he gets even, it’s always timed at the right time and right place because he’s the Cerebral Assassin and it’s just what he’s known for.  The last time that we saw a countdown to an authority figure’s execution, it was Eric Bischoff getting kicked off Raw for failing to take down John Cena.  Though I think it’s a safe bet that people will be anxiously looking forward to singing to Johnny Boy “Na Na Na Na. Na Na Na Na. Hey Hey Hey. Goodbye.”  The only one that could be louder would be if Michael Cole got the pink slip right next to Vickie Guerrero.

This wasn’t without some flaws in the mix.  Sheamus vs Jinder Mahal again being one of them.  How are people not sick of this match? The only reason people could have for paying attention to this match is to take bets on how long it takes Sheamus to beat him.  I’ve said it before that it’s like throwing a Porterhouse steak to a starving dog. It won’t last more than a minute before he woofs it down.  It’s bad enough that WWE can’t seem to give Sheamus any kind of decent angle or competition, but the more you give him opponents like Mahal who doesn’t have a shred of anything to make relevant, the less people will take Sheamus winning the Royal Rumble if he does actually win. I’m not saying that the face turn for Sheamus has been a failure because I feel it’s not, I’m saying that they’re not giving him enough guys to fight and this also unfortunately falls under the WWE’s lack of productivity in building guys up.

I’m not really fond of the Falls Count Anywhere match between Zack Ryder and Kane, mostly because last time I checked, Falls Count Anywhere matches have a winner to it and don’t end in a no contest.  I wasn’t that impressed with the Chokeslam through the stage. It didn’t really make Kane look strong but made it look like the stage was built real cheap.  I actually am in favor of this pissed aggressive side of John Cena.  I found his days where he came out to fight as opposed to wrestle to be way more entertaining.  Look at when he went after Carlito for stealing his US Title or his bodyguard for laying him out.  Look at his rivalry with JBL when Cena went for his first title reign. There was emotion there and he wasn’t heading into the match to wrestle, he wanted to beat the crap out of them and the same can be said for Randy Orton and Batista and Cena’s rivalries with them. It brought an aggressive side to John Cena and there was emotion behind it and people loved that and not the squeaky clean, humble as can be kind of John Cena that people for the most part have gotten over-saturated with.  Okay and the raps that he used to cut were entertaining also but then he stopped doing that.

One other thing that was done right was with Chris Jericho. Yes he is keeping this whole mysterious thing where nobody knows what the hell he is doing and he finally spoke tonight.  This was the right call because it kept the mystery element in the fold and you finally got him to break his silence at the same time. You couldn’t have Jericho be mute for too much longer without people getting sick of it.  There are two things that wrestling fans don’t like.  One is being told who to cheer for and who not to cheer for and the other is to be jerked around constantly.  If there is no resolution or payoff of some kind that is reached, people will get pissed off.  It’s a little thing called consumer confidence as you want people to keep buying your product. Besides, this was the last Raw before the Royal Rumble, Jericho needed to say something.

So, is WWE finally starting to get the picture? Hard to say but the chances are looking good considering that they’ve gone back to back weeks with a strong ending for Raw. Now if only they can figure out how to have the show be just as strong or at the very least, lead up to the ending of the show.   We’ll see what happens with the Post-Royal Rumble edition of Raw and what will hopefully be the execution (job-wise) of John Laryngitis.