Giving Eric Bischoff the Spotlight Only Shines on the Fact that he’s a Moron.

I’m amazed at the fact that I’m even writing so much about TNA this week, considering I’m one of those that has completely thrown in the towel with it.  But after watching off of the TNA website out of morbid curiosity, only to find that they actually closed their show with the IWC’s favorite bastard Eric Bischoff and his son Garrett confronting each other. The show ended with Ric Flair, or the crypt keeper, it’s hard to tell the difference these days, beating down Garrett and the show ending with the closing spot on Ric Flair and Eric Dicksmoke.

So, let me see if I have this correct: Your final segment of the show features the oldest relic on the TNA roster who doesn’t seem to know when to quit or what he’s even in TNA for to begin with (which is funny since none of us know what his role in TNA is either), and a pro wrestling plague who already company and having them standing in the spotlight with a guy who is just barely getting started in the business.  Top that off with the fact that you’re having that over what was the actual main event in Samoa Joe v. Bobby Roode because somehow, the Internet hater that is Bischoff still somehow believes that the hotter commodities in TNA are the ones that are pushing 50 and above. Did I leave out anything?

WCW had a lot of names to its reputation that lead to a lot of criticism and ridicule towards the end. One of them was being considered the retirement home of TNA because you had guys like Hogan and Flair who were past their prime still hogging the spotlight.   At least when he was in WCW, Flair knew what his role was as opposed to TNA where I’m not sure even Flair knows what his role is anymore because I don’t think he or anybody else knows what he’s supposed to be anymore.  It’s like he’s gone from being a wrestler to a manager to semi-retired wrestler to just being a decrepit old fart who screams into a microphone until his voice gives out on him and his voice sounds so raspy, you’d almost confuse him for Johnny Ace.  So, in all that consists of Eric Bischoff’s delusional mind, somehow he thinks people want still see Ric Flair in a ring? Or for that matter while we’re on the subject of Bischoff’s delusions, he thinks people actually want to see him?  Nobody gave a rat’s ass about him when he was WCW, nor did anyone give a damn about him when he was the “General Manager” of Raw and went from facing off with Vince McMahon to kissing his ass and calling it ice cream to Vinny Mac’s face.

Let me breakdown how Eric Bischoff thinks:

“Oh forget the fact that TNA has young talent.  Forget guys like AJ Styles who has done the main event picture before or Samoa Joe who for whatever reason we keep seeming to bury. Forget about guys like Christopher Daniels, James Storm or Bobby Roode who are just aching for the right chance to be at the top. Nevermind all that when we have guys like Ric Flair, I mean  he’s in his 60’s and sounds like he’s gasping for air on the microphone but who cares? And what about Hulk Hogan? Yeah I know he can’t walk but come on, it’s the Hulkster.  Yeah I made mistakes in WCW but give me a break. I created the NWO and saved WCW.  Yeah it still went under and I’m working for Vince Russo again, but just because I’m doing the same things that caused WCW to go under doesn’t mean it’ll happen again. Now I gotta go start a fight with the IWC and call them 10-percenters some more.”

Instead of making a rising wrestling product, Bischoff seems to have a hard-on over the thought of making TNA wrestling’s newest retirement home.  Don’t believe me on this one? Well, tell me why Bobby Roode wasn’t given a proper main event match as opposed to one that wasn’t even 10 minutes? Why has Samoa Joe gone from being the wrecking machine that dominated the X-Division to barely relevant anymore?  Why hasn’t AJ Styles or Christopher Daniels for that matter tasted gold in TNA in a long time?  WCW full circle is all I can say, and yes it sounds like a broken record, but it doesn’t make it less true.

WWE: The Good, The Bad, and the Monkey

Those of you that have read my work know how I feel about the WWE and their use of Michael Cole’s heel character. I think it’s over the top, overexposed, irritating and a distraction to anything and everything going on in the ring.  I think that the guy can’t act worth a damn and he damn sure can’t sell a move.  Hell we already know that the shaved ape can’t even remember the names of moves.  I think his character has run its course and the fact that the WWE keeps shoving it into the faces of fans who are sick to death of him is just stupid as hell.

That being said, here we go with this past Mondays’ Raw and Cole’s whole tirade where he yet again gets up on the announcer’s table to further make an ass out of himself. The monkey issues a challenge to Jim Ross calling it the “Michael Cole Challenge” or as I like to call it, the WWE’s sure fire way to get people to mute the TV or change the channel. The only thing people could actually care about is the stipulation which states that if Cole loses, Jim Ross gets his spot back at the announcer’s table and Cole will quit the WWE.

My thoughts on this are pretty limited other than Jim Ross has to win this because this crap has to end.  I’m fed up with Cole ruining both Raw and Smackdown and this crap has been going on for almost 2 years. It needs to end and it needs to end now and not even the WWE can be stupid enough to not realize that the fans want him back.  Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler mesh well together as a team and the three man announce team has not been working for any of the shows.  Cole has outlived his usefulness with his character, especially at the announcer’s table because he’s only proven that when he’s being his waste of space of a character, he can’t call matches to save his own life.

So, Cole losing this match and JR getting his rightful spot back is the good, here’s the bad of it even though it is only a possible outcome.  What if this is the WWE’s way of getting the monkey off of the announcer’s table and making him the new Raw GM? Yeah, I know it’s scary thought as the WWE has made this guy into a character that the WWE Universe hates worse than Vickie Guerrero and that’s saying a lot.  The right move would be to take this guy off of TV, especially when it gets closer to Wrestlemania because if you recall at the press conference for Mania when he hosted it, he got booed so much and so loud that they had trouble getting through it.  I’m sure that the WWE doesn’t want that happening again, no should they because the good heels are able to generate heat, but not to the point where they can’t do their job.

Top off that possibility of JR getting his spot back with the announcement of the first Downloadable Content for WWE 12.  Some names that are supposed to be featured are Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Shawn Michaels, and the shrieking monkey himself Michael Cole.  So in other words, people that play this game will now have the chance to make the sniveling little prick pay for the last two years that he’s ruined the broadcast team for the WWE.  I can promise you that there are plenty of people who will be playing this game and will want to smack the crap out of the bastard.  I know because I will be one of those people and I’m oh so looking forward to that with the only disappointment being that I won’t be able to smack him around in real life.  But I’ll take what I can get as I imagine that game and think that if Michael Cole wants to act like a sniveling, whining, crying, shrieking, squeaky voiced, bad haircut sporting, cheap suit wearing, looking something a Pee-Wee Herman doll spit up, annoying little bitch, than come WWE 12 he’s gonna beaten around like one, something that I’m sure a ton of people feel that getting the crap kicked out of him is EXACTLY what he deserves.  Hell, he deserves that and to be off of WWE TV as much as John Laryngitis deserves a WWE Pink Slip.

Bobby Roode: Loyalty Given to TNA with TNA Offering No Loyalty in Return.

If there’s anything to take out of the main event from Bound for Glory, it’s that TNA really doesn’t have a clue on how to reward their most loyal.  Everyone in the wrestling community is wondering why exactly TNA dropped the ball and decided to let Kurt Angle go over Bobby Roode. Now word is going around that TNA is looking to give Jeff Hardy another shot at a title reign as a means of “pleasing him.”

Pleasing Jeff Hardy? What the hell for? Call me crazy but shouldn’t he be the one trying to please TNA? He is the one that screwed up and is lucky that they were either too lazy or too stupid to fire his ass in the first place.  The guy should be lucky that he still has a job and yet, TNA is actually considering to give him the top spot over a guy who has been loyal from day one and paid his dues in Bobby Roode? You’ve gotta be kidding me.

Bobby Roode has taken every chance that was given to him and never once took it for granted.  He stuck with the stable of Team Canada. He let himself be paired with Traci Brooks and than after her Peyton Banks. He stewed around in an angle that went nowhere with Eric Young and then a similar feud with Booker T involving Booker’s wife. He teamed with former AMW rival James Storm to form Beer Money and later on becoming part of Fortune.  The guy made the most out of everything he was given and paid his dues.

The BFG series was a failure and it looked like there might have been a sign that it paid off when they started to push Bobby Roode. They spent weeks prepping this guy up for Bound For Glory. This was his moment to rise up and become a main eventer.  TNA wouldn’t even give him 10 stupid minutes to have what should’ve been by all rights a decent main event match between Roode and Angle.  Roode is healthy and was more than ready for this and despite that Kurt Angle was not only walking into the match injured, but also needed help after the match, you still have TNA keep the belt on Angle.

And for what reason? For who? Because Hulk Hogan flapped his senile trap again saying that the guy wasn’t ready?  Because you’d rather give the belt to a guy who showed up to a main event drugged out of his mind and got 10 days in jail for his drug charges?  You’re really gonna give Jeff Hardy the keys to the kingdom again so soon?   There is always the possibility that Roode could win on Impact or at another PPV, but it’s too late for that because the damage is done.  You made the guy look like he was all hype and that all those weeks spent to build up Bobby Roode into a main evener was all for nothing, much like his loyalty to TNA all these years has been all for nothing because despite his loyalty and paying his dues, they still chose to screw over one of their own.

TNA Drops The Ball at BFG. Thanks for Nothing, TNA.

Looking at the results over and over again, I’m almost ashamed that I didn’t see this coming.  Bobby Roode getting a shot at the world title seemed almost too good to be true.  Tonight, those of us that all watched Bound For Glory, it turned out that it really was too good to be true. While Sting vs Hogan wasn’t the main event of the PPV, it might as well have been with the cluster-fuck that was the last hour of the PPV.  I mean how much time did they give Bobby Roode and Kurt Angle exactly? Five Minutes? And how do they finish the final match on the card? A “grabbing ropes pinball” finish, and all this time I thought that the worst booking TNA has ever done for a PPV was their Hardcore Justice PPV last year.

What were they thinking really? That they had Sting beat Hogan, Dixie Carter gets the company back, Hogan decks Bischoff, Hogan’s a face again and that they didn’t need to worry about the rest of the card? I had some jerkoff on here piling on me about how I’m wrong that TNA is a failure and that it deserves to fail.  With the crappy booking and the way they screw up a main event like the one they had tonight on what is supposed to be their biggest PPV, I still stand by saying that TNA deserves to fall flat.  And anyone that thinks that TNA is just fine the way it is, then you’re simply part of the problem.

Contrary to what some people may think, I don’t have a problem with Velvet Sky winning the Knockouts Title.  I really don’t and in fact, it was probably one of the few things that didn’t bother me with the PPV.  Velvet has never held the belt and whether people like it or not, she’s worked her ass off to get herself ready for this.  And you know what, I give all the props and congratulations that I have to her for making it to the spot she’s at and say that she earned it.  And with regards to Karen Jarrett and how she said Velvet Sky would win the Knockouts Title over her dead body,  Karen might want to get a coffin and a tombstone ready and to quote Nelson from “The Simpsons,” I point to Karen and say “HA HA!”

I don’t have much to say about Jerry Lynn vs Rob Van Dam because frankly, anybody that’s seen matches between these two knows what they can do and the kind of match that the two of them can deliver.  I don’t mind so much having Ken Anderson as a face since he seems work better as a face/tweener than he did as a heel.  My only problem is why did they ever turn him heel in the first place when the guy was clearly popular as a face? Maybe if they had kept him that way, his second world title reign wouldn’t have lasted shorter than his first one did.

Mexican America (Not LAX) vs Ink Inc was just about what I thought it would be, complete with Ink Inc not winning the tag titles.  Then again, did anybody really think they had a chance in hell of doing that to begin with? As for the X-Division title match, I think it proves judging by the reactions of the crowd that they’re happier with Austin Aries as the X-Division Champ than Brian Kendrick. I think Kendrick has all the talent that he needs, but nobody gets his character, myself included.  Aries is a heel, cocky, and arrogant but at least we get his character.  The best move I could recommend for this is to use the time to develop a solid face to rival with Aries.

One other thing that TNA got right with the PPV was AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels.  This match served in reminding people what it was like when these guys were rivals and were butting heads with each other.  The way these guys can work a match against each other is done with such precision that they almost have it broken down into a science.  The finish of the match did help in making Daniels look like a weasel type of heel and his post-match attack on AJ Styles left room for the guys to go at it once more.  All I know is that whether it’s Falls Count Anywhere, Ultimate X, Steel Cage or an Ironman Match, I don’t think there is any type of match that could end up failing when you have these two going head to head.

Now that Hogan vs Sting is finally over, all I can help but ask is simply “Now what, TNA? Now what?” There is no way in hell that they should have Hulk Hogan wrestle another match.  Yeah you had guys like Flair, Bischoff and every other reject from Immortal get involved in this match, but you should’ve expected as much considering Hogan’s limitations.  As for the face turn for Hogan, big shocker since that’s all anybody on the internet has talked about was that Hogan would turn face at BFG.  There was no celebration with Dixie Carter which I find shocking considering the fact that she just got her damn company back and you’d think she’d be overjoyed.  If all she was going to do was be at ringside watching the match, then why’d they even bother having her show up? Considering the amount of time that was left following this match, it should’ve been obvious that the main event was going to be as rushed as it was, and oh boy is the word “rushed” the right way to describe it.

All I can say about the Triple Threat Match is that I’m still sick for seeing Samoa Joe lose.  Well, that and I’m starting to think that Matt Morgan is “The Big Show” of TNA in terms of being there just as a filler, because he’s not going to get a world title anytime soon in TNA.  As for Crimson and how the crowd was booing him, what do you expect? He was facing off one of the most harsh critics of wrestling in Philadelphia fans.  They played a part in the popularity of the original ECW and thus, the expectations are high.  The thing that is unique to me about Joe and how he’s ripped on Crimson about his “undefeated streak” is the fact that the rest of us are all thinking the same thing.  There’s no domination in his streak and every match that he’s’ had that composites the streak has been a match where he barely pulls it off. If TNA’s mission with Crimson was to show him off as some dominate figure or some unstoppable, than that a mission is a failure because Philly fans tonight with all their booing towards Crimson might as well have been the fans saying to TNA “We ain’t buying into this guy.”

The Roode vs Angle match lasting 7 minutes tops is not only stupid to have considering that this is the final match on the card, but it’s also insulting. It’s insulting to any guy who calls themselves a pro wrestler and especially insulting to both Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode.  All of the hype and the build-up and all that was that stupid BFG series was all for nothing and if you listen really REALLY carefully, you can hear the momentum of Bobby Roode fizzling out into nothing. I know that some people are going to be saying “Oh they can have him win on Impact” or “He’ll win at the next PPV.” So what if he does?  TNA killed the momentum that would’ve made the title win actually matter.  Would people feel the same way if Shawn Michaels didn’t win the Ironman Match against Bret Hart at Mania? Would we all be saying if he lost “Oh well, he’ll win it on Raw or at the next PPV?”  No, none of us would because the damage would’ve been done to all the momentum and hype that was leading into the match.   TNA gave Bobby Roode this push and was going full throttle and tonight, they simply slammed him right into a brick wall.  And for who? For what? To keep the belt on Kurt Angle? To not overshadow the previous match that very few that didn’t have some sort of nostalgia behind it gave a damn about to begin with? Would people have cared about Hogan vs Andre happening the next night after Wrestlemania 3 if Hogan failed to defeat Andre?  Yeah he could’ve always made the attempt at the next PPV or on Saturday Night’s Main Event or some other show, but he would’ve still failed to do it on the biggest stage that is Wrestlemania.

Bound For Glory is supposed to be TNA’s equivalent of Wrestlemania and this was the opportunity for Bobby Roode to rise up and have his moment. This was his time to rise up and step amongst the main eveners and TNA screwed up royally by not only not giving him the proper amount of time for a main event, but by not having him win.  This is the most overhyped thing I’ve seen in wrestling since the “Lex Express” angle for Lex Luger in his WWF/E days.   The ball was in TNA’s court alright, it’s just a shame that the shot they attempted at the buzzer ended up bouncing off the rim.  So, TNA has once again dropped the ball and proved they haven’t learned crap and it’s at the expense of one Bobby Roode now back to square one.  I had said a while back that it was now or never for Roode and it looks like we all know which one it ended up landing on tonight.

 

 

What is The Future for John Morrison?

There has been reports going around that John Morrison’s contract is set to expire soon.  Those same reports are saying that not only does WWE not have any desire to re-sign the guy, but also that Morrison himself has no desire to re-sign with the WWE.  My advice for John Morrison is simply this: Get the hell out of Dodge while you still can.  The WWE needs John Morrison a hell of a lot worse than he needs them.

Ever since the Royal Rumble and his little Spider-Man like move with the barricade and avoiding elimination, I thought this guy had talent that just defied belief. He demonstrated the same thing with how he climbed the Elimination Chamber and dropped down on everybody.  Top that off with the match he had with The Miz in a Falls Count Anywhere match.  Those things proved not only that this was the best thing to come out of the first 3 seasons of Tough Enough, but that this guy is a future world champion.

I used to think that it was just injury that kept him from getting the push that he should be getting, but it’s the politics that seem to be stabbing him in the back.  It’s those same politics that got Melina from one of the top divas to circling the drain all the way to a pink slip.  To this day, I still say that it should’ve been John Morrison who won the Royal Rumble this year and NOT Alberto Del Rio.  It was a waste of a Royal Rumble winner just as it was a waste to have him win Money in the Bank, but that’s a different topic altogether.

One thing that stood out for me with John Morrison is the Starship Pain.  I used to think that Rob Van Dam was the only guy who could do a split-legged moonsault.  Not only does Morrison do that, but he does a spin as he goes back and with how little room he has to do that, it’s amazing that he nails it every single time with precision.  But I guess Morrison doesn’t fit the mold of what WWE considers to be a pro wrestler.  And by that, I mean they don’t like a guy who can not only wrestle, but make the guys in the ring with him look like they can’t.

So, should John Morrison actually split, what does this mean for him in terms of where he should go? I would say Ring Of Honor would be his best bet on the account of the fact that many of the guys and the pace they move in with their styles of wrestling is up to speed with his own, if not greater than his own.  Besides, look how well leaving TNA and going back to Ring of Honor worked out for Jay Lethal.  He went back and about 2-3 months in, he wins the TV title.  If TNA was like it used to be where the X-Division was at its peak and you had guys like AJ Styles with the world title, than I’d go with TNA. But considering that TNA has their own problems at the moment, it’s easy to see that Morrison would get lost in the fold within TNA.

John Morrison has the capability that wherever he goes, he’ll succeed because he has too much talent to do otherwise.  If the WWE actually lets this guy go, then it will further prove their own incompetence and stupidity, but it’s not like we haven’t already figured that out with this past Monday’s Raw. And yeah, I’ve heard about how his mic skills aren’t the best, blah blah blah.  There are PLENTY of wrestlers past and present who weren’t great on the mic, but their skills in the ring overshadowed that.  Why? Because there have been cases where with guys like that, you find a way to work around it and make it work.  The biggest problem is that the WWE is too lazy or stupid to do that with anybody.  If they were better at it, maybe we’d see more guys who aren’t that great on the mic actually get a decent push.  Then again, they barely push the guys that can talk. Zack Ryder ring any bells?

If I’m John Morrison, I wouldn’t sweat bullets about the WWE.  They need him worse than he needs them and he has more than enough charisma and physical ability to make it no matter where he ends up.  He should go with the CM Punk approach but this time, just get out of there and don’t look back.

Sting vs Hogan is Pretty Much Official. So Now What, TNA?

Even if you didn’t watch Impact on Thursday, you had to have had a good idea that Hulk Hogan and Sting was gonna happen at Bound For Glory.  The match is supposed to be NO DQ and in a recent article, Hogan has said that he’s not going to take any bumps in the match.  Top it off with the premise of this match being that this is how Dixie Carter will regain control of TNA and thus, culminate what was a year’s worth of bad storyline that we’ve dealt with since Bound for Glory last year.  Of course, that was prior to having Hogan and Bischoff both re-sign with TNA, leaving one to wonder what this is gonna mean for the outcome of the match and if anything will change.

Sting is 52 and has been carrying on with this whole “Joker Sting” gimmick for the last couple of months.  As for why he keeps doing it, what else is he gonna do? Seriously, if you got a better idea for Sting, I’m sure he’s all ears too.  Besides, with how long he’s been with TNA and it’s still at the same spot that it was at years ago, anybody would go crazy. And as for Hulk Hogan, I’ve already said it before that he’s 58 and the guy has had more back surgeries than Ric Flair has ex-wives.  The guy can’t wrestle, can barely walk to the ring, and he can’t cut a promo for shit anymore.  The guy sucks the life out of anything the second he grabs a microphone and contrary to what a lot of people think, his name is not the big draw that it used to be.  His “Celebrity Championship Wrestling” and that micro wrestling or whatever the hell it is, should be clear evidence of that.

Back to the match itself, if Hogan can’t or won’t take any bumps during this match, then whats the point of even having it altogether?  Exactly what is he going to do in this match exactly? The only thing that would make this worse would if TNA decided to go for the gold in stupidity and actually tried to make this a main event.  That would suck in two ways and the other, apart from the obvious train wreck that is this match, is that if you make the match the main event, you kill any thunder or momentum for Bobby Roode should he win the world title from Kurt Angle.

Another big problem is that Sting wins and Dixie Carter is back in charge, what do you do with Hogan and Bischoff? They will pretty much serve no purpose whatsoever. They can’t deliver promos as both guys are boring as hell on the microphone.  So what do you do with them? What was the point of even re-signing those two in the first place if you knew that Hogan couldn’t do much of anything and that Bischoff really can’t do or create anything successful?

So TNA, the ball is in your court and we’re waiting to see what you actually do with it.  There are still some that are hoping you guys know what you’re doing, but those numbers are growing slimmer by the day.  Here’s hoping that TNA knows what they’re doing, but considering their past moves the last couple years, this is one shark who isn’t holding his breath on that one.

WWE Raw: Nightmare Come True and It Comes with a Raspy Voice

Tonight wasn’t so bad when Raw started. I was actually enjoying the segment with Triple H, John Cena, Sheamus and CM Punk.  Even having CM Punk at the announce table was a treat.  And then…… It happened.  Vince McMahon in all his glory returns and pretty much fires Triple H from the COO position and makes Not So Super Dave Osborne, better known as John Laurinaitis, better known as Johnny Ace or The Dynamic Dickhead, is now made the “interim” General Manager of Raw.  Pardon me while I vomit at remembering this disaster because it’s like waking up from a dream and into a nightmare.

But wait, the 2 hours of hell continued on.  John Morrison gets beat by Christian in under 3 minutes.  My advice to John Morrison is to get the hell out of Dodge while you still can.  I guess Morrison doesn’t fit what the mold for what WWE considers to be an actual pro wrestler.  The translation for that:  They can’t stand a guy that actually looks good to great in the ring.  Top it off with the Vinny Mac flunky that is Johnny Ace himself firing Jim Ross.  So once again we’re back with a shitty announcer team of Jerry Lawler with Monkey’s Asshole himself Michael Cole.  Top that off with having two “big matches” that they advertised and both had something happen in it.  Mark Henry vs Randy Orton had Cody Rhodes interview, boy what a step down that is for Orton to now be feuding with Rhodes.  Then you have what is supposed to be Alberto Del Rio vs CM Punk only to have it turned into a tag match between those two against Miz and R-Truth.  But WAIT!!!!! There’s one more change to that match!!!!!! Del Rio wimps out and fakes an injury leaving Punk on his own and making it a handicap match.  So in a way, your main event got changed TWICE!!!!!

Congratulations is in order for the WWE.  Not only have you demonstrated that as stupid as TNA is in the moves they’ve made as of late, you still know how to demonstrate equal to greater stupidity and you raise it to an art form.  You got a guy that nobody liked OR wanted as an authority figure and how funny is it that the Monkey Cole goes on about how the narcissism is gone from Raw. Not quite Monkey Boy, we’re still having to suffer your sorry ass to the fact that Vince McMahon and the rest of WWE Management is too stupid to realize you can’t announce for shit and that when push comes to shove, you’re nothing more than a useless jackass with a headset on.

Going back to Jim Ross and his “firing,” I can’t help but wonder what was the point?  What was the point in bringing him back to the announcer’s table? What was the point of anything with him if you were just going to pull this crap that we haven’t seen 10 million times before?  I was one of those that was not wanting Vince to return and I damn sure didn’t want John Laryngitis as an on-screen character. Look what happened now, we ended up with both in all of its predictable glory.  Thank you so much, WWE.  You’ve officially turned Monday Night Raw into Monday Nitro because now it’s just as predictable and stupid as Nitro ended up being.  Why not complete the circle and make Smackdown into WCW Thunder or really make it look bad and call it WCW World Wide. If any of your crap that you call Raw or Smackdown were any worse, you might as well call it NXT.

Wake me up when this nightmare finally ends.

TNA Re-Signing Hulk Hogan & Eric Bischoff Confirms TNA Deserves to Fail

Reports are running around on the internet about Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff have both re-signed with TNA.  This move has taken place before their contracts were set to expire.  All I can for TNA is that they deserve to wallow in the state that they’re in right now.  Top that off with the fact that they deserve to fail miserably and I will be pointing and laughing when that happens. Why? Because re-signing Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff is the stupidest move that they could’ve done and yet at the same time, I really shouldn’t have been shocked by this at all.  In fact, I should’ve expected nothing less from either Hogan, Bischoff or TNA.

You would think that TNA would’ve figured it out by now. Not only have they not figured it out, but it’s looking more and more likely that they will NEVER figure out how to make their product work.  And by figuring it out, I mean realizing that they have the talent and have always had the talent, but they’re obsessed with getting figures of the past and picking up whoever the WWE spit up.  Hulk Hogan is not the draw he once was and yet TNA can’t seem to realize that.  As far as Eric Bischoff goes, the guy has not come up with one good idea in over a decade and his only trump card that he has (and doesn’t work anymore) is saying; “But I created the NWO in WCW.”  Yeah, you did and that was 20 years ago and people don’t give a rat’s ass anymore.  Back to Hogan, that match with him and Sting is gonna be horrible. Hogan can’t wrestle anymore and we all know that.  So what does TNA do in knowing that the guy can’t do it in the ring anymore? Simple, they try to make the guy a talker and it turns out that he can’t even do that either.  Setting aside that nobody wants to remember Hulk Hogan as just a mouthpiece, the problem is that Hogan can’t cut a promo to save his own life.  When it comes to promos, Hogan, Bischoff and Ric Flair all sound on the microphone the same as how they look: Old.

I was heading into Bound for Glory thinking that maybe things were gonna change for the better. Bobby Roode is more than likely gonna end up with the world title, something new and fresh that many wrestling fans have seen.  But no, we’re all stuck with Hogan and Bischoff for longer and that is more than likely gonna mean the same thing with Ric Flair. And don’t tell me about Russo being demoted because it doesn’t matter what position he has because as long as he’s on the payroll for TNA, that’s a problem.  TNA is now to the point where they’re as beyond redemption in wrestling as NXT.  Not to mention that the so-called “Impact Wrestling” is as unwatchable as NXT.  The only difference is that at least networks were smart enough to not allow that piece of crap on their network.

There’s still been no confirmation that Spike is going to keep TNA on their line-up.  UFC isn’t gonna be on it anymore and TNA has inconsistent ratings so why would Spike TV want to keep it? Yeah, it’s pro wrestling but unfortunately for Spike TV, it’s godawful pro wrestling.  TNA has now become to pro wrestling what the XFL was to football, namely a disaster.  And like many fans that know what the phrase “Wrestling Matters” really means, I now look at TNA believing that TNA has no chance at redemption or success.  For years, TNA has been compared to WCW and now, it’s come full circle and TNA officially has become the second coming of WCW.  And much like with WCW, TNA’s funeral will have many guys out of work, but it will have Hogan, Bischoff, Flair and Russo all grinning like kids at Disneyland because they will be carrying in their pocket the blood money they drained from TNA Wrestling.

Get Off Their Back: “The Prodigy” Mike Bennett

So, it’s been a while since I did this piece here on the Shark Attack, but there’s been something that has been going on that I feel I should address.  It was last year that we saw the debut of “The Prodigy” Mike Bennett in ROH.  During the course of his time in the company, one phrase that has been used during almost any match with this guy has been “You Can’t Wrestle.” Which leads me to this edition of “Get Off Their Back” with the topic being one Mike Bennett.

Now lately, a lot of guys have been talking about how the use of the word “buried” for a wrestler has been used inaccurately.  I think the same can be said in the phrase “you can’t wrestle.”  In the last ten years, the one time I can remember that phrase being accurate was with the old Team Canada stable and a certain muscle-head named A-1.  First off, I found his name to be so opposite of intimidating considering the guy was named after a steak sauce.  Plus, who did we ever see the guy beat? It was like the guy was nothing more than a human punching bag with muscles. Back on the subject of Mike Bennett, I don’t see how you can say that the guy can’t wrestle when there really isn’t one guy in that whole ROH roster that can’t wrestle. They all can wrestle, (repeat: ALL can wrestle) and all of them have their own style and it works and Bennett happens to be one of them.

You want to talk about how the guy is cocky and arrogant and full of himself? Um , Hello? He’s a heel and his character comes with him being that way. He’s doing his damn job and as far as his skills and people thinking he doesn’t have any skills in the ring, give me one good reason or one solid bit of proof that he can’t wrestle. Why? Just because he’s not a high flyer like El Generico or Jay Lethal?  He doesn’t have to be and not all the guys have to be that way in ROH.  Mike Bennett is a technical wrestler and there have been plenty of guys that are like that in wrestling, not just in ROH.  Kurt Angle, Dean Malenko, Arn Anderson, Chris Benoit (going by his ring work, not the circumstances around his death), Kevin Steen, Lance Storm, Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards and some others.  Not one of those guys are known as high-flyers and are simply viewed for their technical skills.

I’ve seen Bennett wrestle on ROH and I’ve seen his matches against guys like Steve Corino, Jimmy Jacobs and Jay Lethal and let me tell you that the phrase “This guy can’t wrestle for shit” doesn’t enter my mind for even a second.  To me, this guy the balance of the cocky & arrogant heel, powerhouse and lastly, mat technician.  He even goes to the ring with a manager in “Brutal” Bob Evans and do I really need to go into how the role of “managers” is almost all but extinct these days?

The heat that Bennett seems to get is not a heel kind of heat from the fans, and I honestly don’t get it.  I mean is it maybe that fans don’t like to be told or have shoved in front of them who is the “next big thing” or something like that?  Well, that didn’t stop people when Brock Lesnar was a wrestler and was dubbed as the Next Big Thing.  It’s part of the angle with Bennett and it’s part of his character so get over it already. Honestly, not only do I hope for this, but I want to see this guy with a belt just to see what he can really do when he’s sporting some championship gold.  I’m not talking tag team gold either, I want to see this guy with a belt on his own and not splitting it with somebody.

Like it or not, outside of Kevin Steen, Mike Bennett is in my opinion, somebody who not only can wrestle, but has the potential and ability to where he could be a top heel if not THE top heel in ROH, something that ROH is needing to set up right now.  So like it or not, this guy’s not going anywhere anytime soon and I for one am happy for that.

The WWE Championship Belt: From Prestigious to Worthless

Championship belts, we’ve all seen them and we’ve always believed that they meant something.  Take a good look at what you see below:

All of them had some kind of prestige to it, even if the guys behind the scenes viewed it as nothing more than a prop. Hell even when we had the Smoking Skull belt for Stone Cold, the fans still bought into it like it still carried the same prestige to it. The last belt shown, the “undisputed title” was a welcome change and nobody had a problem with it.  Of course, that was before they slapped the belt on JBL and then everything went to hell because you had more worthy and believable wrestlers who people could buy as a champion having to put the guy over. Guys like Kurt Angle and Booker T and even the Big Show.  You don’t believe me that this was a sign of things taking a turn for the worst, take a good look at exhibit A.

Behold the monstrosity that is the WWE Spinner Belt.  A belt that was a customized title for one John Cena. The only problem was that it should’ve been worn ONLY by John Cena just as Stone Cold Steve Austin was the only one to wear the Smoking Skull belt.  But that wasn’t the case and the WWE just got lazy and decided not to make a new belt or go back to the previous one.  Take a good look at the one that Edge ended up having at one point:

All they did was change the logo, but it’s like moving dog shit from the front yard to the backyard. Yeah, the location is different but it still stinks.  We’ve had to suffer this belt for  years and had to try and stomach seeing a toy belt being held by guys like John Cena, Randy Orton, Edge, Triple H, Batista, The Miz, Rey Mysterio and CM Punk and act like there was still some prestige to it, despite the fact that goddamn thing looked like the prize you find in a box of Cracker Jacks. Even JBL tried to get the damn thing back when it was still in its spinning glory and all you could think was “What the hell for?”

Just when you thought that belt couldn’t look any cheaper than it already does, enter the main event from Hell in a Cell.  John Cena lost the belt to CM Punk at Money in the Bank and then a tournament was held to determine a new champion where Rey Mysterio won….ONLY to lose to John Cena the same night.  Punk returns leading to Summerslam and beats Cena to be the undisputed champion but only to have Del Rio cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase and become champion. Then Del Rio loses at Night of Champions to John Cena and then tonight wins it back TWO WEEKS after he lost the belt.  That’s a total of 7 times that we’ve seen the belt change hands in some way or another since July.

Yeah, we get that the belt is a prop but the whole thing that made the belt look the way that it did was that the crowd never thought of it as a prop.  To the majority of wrestling fans, a championship belt holds the same value as the Stanley Cup in Hockey or a Super Bowl ring in the NFL.  It’s like a medal of honor for pro wrestling to many fans and when a guy has that belt, it means something. But right now thanks to HIAC and the constant title changes over the last 3-4 months, the WWE Title has become worthless to the point where you’re surprised that they didn’t just take a stick of Juicy Fruit and say; “THIS is the new WWE Championship belt.”  I can promise you that would be less painful.

The way the WWE is slowly killing themselves and every aspect about themselves one by one just boggles the mind.  You have recycled/tired/old stories, new and lousy character like Lauranitis and Cole, and now your main championship isn’t worth crap.  So now, the belt is viewed the same way that the guys in the back view it as:  A prop.  So now that the main belt has been cheapened into nothing but an on-screen prop, then tell me what the point is of the WWE Championship matches and what the hell these guys in those matches are even fighting for anymore.